A Fierce Love

I love the second Monday of the months – it’s MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers). Not only is it a night away with other moms and a night away from the kids, I love that I walk away from there, encouraged and challenged to be a better mom. Last night we were blessed to have the Global Minister of Children at Second Baptist (i.e. he's over children's ministries aat all campuses), Steve Seelig, speak to us. WOW sums it up in one word. We laughed a little, we cried a little, we were challenged a lot, or at least I was.

He summed up mothering in 3 points.
1. We need to be a praying mom for our kids.
2. We need to have a future vision for our kids.
3. We need to speak blessing over our kids.

There was so much more to it, but I need more time to process, meditate and assess my mothering. He just continued to get stirred up that which I have been thinking about. You see, I have done a lot of thinking about being a mom in recent days. I love being a mom; I don’t always love my actions towards my kids. I cry when I scream at them, I get frustrated when they don’t listen to me, can’t tolerate their whiny behavior and at times want to throw them out the windows. Before anyone calls CPS on, that is metaphorically speaking, perhaps I should have said I want to pull my hair out. As J and I were talking about it a few months back, despite all Grayson’s quirks that drive me mad, there is a deep love for him that can never be shaken, as I described it to J, a fierce love. It’s a love that will never let go, a love that wants the best, believes the best, is unconditional, unchanging, unwavering love that would do anything for my child.

It’s made me realize that perhaps I have been too hard on my mom in my years. So many things that I thought she was doing to be mean, were because she loved me. Not only was she there to kiss my boo-boos, pick up the broken pieces at broken relationships, endure the heartache of not making a team, to encourage me every step of the way, she was also there to speak the hard truth to me, stop me when I was doing wrong, infuriate me by not telling me what I wanted to hear and that too was her love. I think all along I have known it….which is why when the world falls apart, Grayson looks at me and yells “no”, J and I get in a fight, I pick up the phone and call her. For I know on the other end is someone who has a fierce love me. She will love me, encourage me, support me, get me in line, whatever, but that my mom will always be there. Nothing can ever shake her love for me. That is something to be commended and not something I fully understood (and probably still don’t) until I had children of my own.

I arise and call my mother blessed and can only hope someday my children will do the same for me.