Gonna Be a Bear

This was sent to me from my mommy. I didn't check my bear facts, but all of it sounds pretty good, especially since I wake up growling most mornings. I am NOT a morning person. Perhaps the best sounding part of this is birthing your walnut sized cubs while you sleep. However, in my world, where you birth full grown people at 21", 8 lbs, the next best option is an epidural. Hooray for modern medicine and not being born in biblical days. Now if the epidural could only last for another 10 or so weeks after that! Enjoy!

In this life, I am a woman. In the next life, I would like to come back as a bear. When you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that too.

When you're a girl bear, you birth your children (which are the size of walnuts) while you're sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that too.

If you're a bear your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup, gonna be a bear.